Wednesday, January 17, 2007

The Bread Machine

A year or so ago, a good family friend gave me this bread machine. It sat in our pantry, taking up space. Then, after eating some tasty bread from my sister-in-law's bread machine, I was inspired to dust off the machine and put it to work...thus beginning the saga of The Bread Machine.

It started innocently enough. The Thursday following my tasty sampling, my brother and I went to Meijer, and I spent around 1/3 of my weekly grocery budget on bread machine ingredients. My first mistake was I didn't look to see how much dry milk was required per loaf. Not knowing that it is only a couple of tablespoons, I bought enough dry milk to feed my family for a year if the cows decide to quit producing. But I figured even if we would have to skimp on groceries for a week, we would at least have tasty bread. That Saturday, Jason headed to the Colts game, and though I was a little disappointed that I didn't get to go cheer on the Colts, at least I would get to make some bread. I excitedly put in all the ingredients, plugged it in, watched it preheat, and then it began the "knead 1" cycle. After about 5 seconds, though I had never operated such a machine, I knew something must be wrong. The machine sounded like an off balance washing machine. So I called my sister-in-law. No, she said, it shouldn't be making that loud of a noise. After about 5 minutes the ingredients should be mixed in a nice ball. 10 minutes passed, I had a headache, and the ingredients didn't look like they had moved. So I called my sister-in-law again. Maybe it is the kneading blade, she said. So I dumped all the ingredients out and examined the kneading blade. It looked just like the diagram in the instruction booklet, so I dumped all the ingredients back in and gave it another 10 minute cycle. Same thing. So again I dumped out all the ingredients. It had to be the kneading blade. My sister-in-law said the kneading blade should come right out, but it wouldn't budge. It must be in backwards. I tried a knife. Then pliers. Then a wrench. Then a shoestring wrapped around and tugged with all my might. It would not budge. So now I had a broken bread machine, a mess of a kitchen, and no bread. I cleaned up my mess, set the bread machine aside, and then remembered that my mom had a bread machine in my childhood. I talked with my mom, and yes, she still had the bread machine, and no she doesn't use it. She let me borrow it the next week.

However, this one did not have a manual. How different can it be, I thought? So I got out all the ingredients, dumped them in, and started the cycle. Five minutes after I started, Jason got out the broken machine. Convinced he could get it to work, he began on his own loaf of bread. Upset that he didn't believe that I knew how to operate a bread machine and knowing the additional mess this would create, I let him know that he was responsible for cleaning up. He dumped the ingredients in, pressed start, and what????? No banging noise. The dough started looking like a ball. I looked in my machine, now running for ten minutes. The dough was looking a little dry. Well, to wrap up this little tale, I will just post for you the end results, and you be the judge of the professional bread machine maker in the house.

Mine is on the left, and his is on the right.

I'm not sure what we all can learn from this tale - Deb can't operate machinery? Jason can fix anything? It's best to have a manual when operating a bread machine? Well, regardless, we now have a working bread machine, and Mom, I will be returning yours shortly. And yes, for all of you infomercial fans out there, that IS a Magic Bullet in the background.


Blogger Anon said...

That is too funny.

I think the wrench must have taken the kinks out of "broken" machine.

Wow, my brother-in-law is so talented. :)

I don't believe in picking favorites when it comes to family members. I think both loaves look appetizing. :)

January 17, 2007 10:51 PM  
Blogger Anon said...

Are you saying that your amazing, incredibly beautiful sister-in-law inspired you to start using your bread machine?


January 17, 2007 10:54 PM  
Blogger Anon said...

I thought you were, but I just thought I'd double check.



January 17, 2007 10:55 PM  
Blogger Keetha said...

In all the time that process took - - - you could have baked SEVERAL loaves the "really" old fashioned way - - - - not machines involved. (Well, except your oven of course!!)

January 18, 2007 4:11 AM  
Blogger Kelley said...

I'm just impressed that you want to make bread. Way too Martha Stewart for me! :)

January 18, 2007 2:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was eyeing that fancy Magic Bullet. I'd love to get my hands on on of those.

January 18, 2007 5:46 PM  
Blogger Keetha said...

I'm coming out of the closet - - - - I'll admit it - - - I had to GOOGLE Magic Bullet - - - had NOT ONE CLUE what one was.

January 18, 2007 7:28 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

Anon, you took the words right out of my mouth.

Kelley, your house looks like it belongs in a Martha Stewart magazine. At least you can go buy bread at the store; my house will continue to look the same way.

Keetha, the Magic Bullet could be your answer when your fridge is mostly empty. Just dump in some ingredients, blend for 10 seconds, and you will have a tasty treat.

And to my anonymous commenter, you would have to wrestle the magic bullet away from Jason and Elizabeth. I don't think they can make scrambled eggs anymore without it.

January 18, 2007 9:58 PM  
Blogger Anon said...

Anonymous Commenter

I will sell you mine for a great price. Seriously.

January 18, 2007 10:30 PM  
Blogger Keetha said...

One problem, Deb - - - - THERE HAVE TO BE INGREDIENTS somewhere in the HOUSE for your suggestion to work!!

January 19, 2007 4:42 AM  
Blogger Joel said...

Wait, wait, wait. Jason uses the Magic Bullet to scramble eggs?? That seems a little much. Or is there something I haven't read yet in the booklet?

Yes . . . I've finally started using mine, which my dad got me late last year. I'll admit that I'm not gadget ga-ga, but it made short work of chopping fresh parsley the other night. (Especially handy since a friend of mine broke the blade of my chef's knife a few weeks ago!)

January 19, 2007 11:50 AM  
Blogger Toevs Family said...

I left a comment and it disappeared. What happened to it?

Basically I said that if Dave and I had a bread machine, my loaf would look like yours and his would look like Jason's.

January 19, 2007 12:32 PM  
Blogger Joel said...

Toevses: That's happened to me, too.

I've discovered that since the upgrade, sometimes Blogger makes you do the word verification thing twice. Not sure why.

So when you hit the "publish your comment" button, do a quick double-check and scroll back down to see if it's asking you to input a second random string of letters.

Maybe that'll solve the mystery. Maybe not.


January 19, 2007 5:31 PM  
Blogger Jim and Jaena said...

I read your post earlier but the pics didn't show up. It really is so much funnier with photos.

January 20, 2007 12:44 PM  
Blogger Toevs Family said...

Thanks, Joel for the tip. Next time I will double check! :-)

January 20, 2007 3:46 PM  
Blogger Keetha said...

Deb, oh Deb, did you live through that game????



January 21, 2007 11:48 PM  
Blogger Kelley said...

Where'd you go Deb? I keep checking for a new blog or a comment and nothing! I thought we might hear about your experiences at the big game! How awesome was that??? Hope to hear something soon!

January 24, 2007 7:16 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

Kelley - I've taken a little blogging hiatus because the first two days after the game I spent almost every free moment watching sports commentary on ESPN regarding the game, and then tonight I had to work at our annual preschool skating party. I may get some blogging done tomorrow evening since it is my free night and we aren't meeting.
I am going to try to do every other week, and this was my week to come :(

I am glad to hear your mom is doing well. You are really being a blessing to your family right now (I enjoyed seeing Emmy at the bowling alley.)

January 24, 2007 9:13 PM  
Blogger Kelley said...

Sorry to hear that I let you down on the ladies night. :) But, Mama Grate needs me right now. She is in mega pain and its hard to see her that way, but she's trouper. Looking forward to the big superbowl party. This year will be a little different. :)

January 24, 2007 9:26 PM  

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