The Moment of Truth

I'll have to admit, I've been in a bit of a funk lately. I haven't been checking many blogs, much less blogging myself. This tends to happen each year to me from January until March. I'm sure there are many little factors that each in of itself aren't THAT big of deal, but all rolled up together they create one big funk. There's the aftermath of Christmas with the tearing down of the decorations, the cold weather that causes me to start my car 10 minutes before I leave in the morning, thus wasting expensive gas, and then still having to scrape the windshield, and not to offend my mom and daughter who have birthdays in January and February respectively, but there really isn't anything to look forward to in these two months. I'm all for honoring Martin Luther King, Jr. and our presidents, but those two "holidays" really don't have me all that excited with the exception of having a vacation day from school. But last year I had a little diversion from the typical February funk - the Colts' Superbowl run. When they lost to the Chargers a few weeks ago, I settled in for two more months of funk until the weather got warm. But then there was last night. The extent to which I love the Colts is just slightly greater than the extent to which I dislike the Patriots. I felt just as invested in the game last night as I did in the game last year, and I will have to admit, tears (mine and Plaxico's) were shed after the game. Last night and today, I have tried to watch as much coverage on the game as possible, reliving each play of that last incredible drive (and enjoying equally the interviews with the Patriots,) and my good mood was only increased by the wonderful surprise of the two hour fog delay this morning. Next weekend is Anna's birthday (5 years old!) and that will be fun, and then the weekend after we have a really fun weekend planned that involves good friends, good food, and campers. What more could you ask for in a weekend than that? So I have a feeling my mood is on the upswing, and what better way to celebrate than with a post.

There is a new show on t.v. called The Moment of Truth. Ordinarily I wouldn't care to watch this show, but since there isn't much else on t.v. right now, and at the time I watched the Moment of Truth I was avoiding ESPN so I wouldn't have to watch anything on the Patriots, I decided to check it out. From what I understand, the premise of the show is this: A professional asks the contestant around 50 questions while the contestant is connected to a lie detector. Then that same contestant is asked the same questions by the game show host for the episode, and the more questions he answers truthfully, the more money he earns. Of course the questions for the small amount of money are only slightly embarrasing or revealing, but when you get to the big bucks, the contestant's innermost thoughts and most secretive actions are exploited. I only watched one contestant compete for money, but what I saw really bothered me. The contestant was a man, and his wife was among the family on stage watching. Many of the initial questions were more personally embarrasing for the contestant, but as the stakes inreased, his relationship with his wife was questioned. The question was, "Is one of the reasons you have not yet had chidren because you aren't sure your wife is your lifelong partner?" He answered yes! What I found disturbing about this process was that he knew before the taping of the show what questions could be asked of him because he was already asked these questions prior to the show by the lie detector professional. Yet he still chose to go on the show and disclose this information. A couple of other answers that bothered me - he answered that yes, he had done something that would cause his wife not to trust him, and then he falsely answered no that he had touched any of his female clients more than necessary while helping them (he is a personal trainer.) The funny thing was, because he answered this last question falsely, he walked away with no money and a very hurt wife.

Of course I was thinking that if I went on the show, I would have no problem winning the top prize of I believe $500,000. I'm a pretty transparent person; after all my blog title IS "Deb Wuertley, Overtly." Telling the truth and not cheating are probably the two biggest virtues that I try to live by and preach to my kids. But then I really started examing myself. Sure, I would breeze through the questions regarding my marriage, my integrity on the internet and on the job, and even past skeletons in the closet (some would say I have lived quite the boring, uneventful life.) But then come the tough questions regarding the feelings inside that I have regarding certain situations or people. For example, was there ever a time when I wished ill will on someone (Okay, so I wouldn't have cried if Tom Brady had blown out a knee during the season.) That's terrible. Honestly, after this example I had listed two others to further prove my point, yet even those two general hypotheses made me feel uncomfortable enough to delete them, so I did. (To all of you who were at the Super Bowl party, please know there really isn't anyone I personally know that I derive a little satisfaction at their eternal destination, just monsters who abuse kids or murder their wives, people like that, not Tom Brady who I now feel convicted to pray for at this very moment.)

I want to be a person who could appear on the Moment of Truth and be confident that regardless of what was asked of me, I could answer truthfully immediately and not fear the consequences. Would I still answer some questions that might offend people? Sure. By nature of being a Christian, I would be bound to offend someone. But what I can work on are those feelings inside of me that are developed by jealousy, pride, greed, selfishness, and lack of faith. And then maybe next Superbowl, Patriots or no Patriots, Colts or no Colts, I can just enjoy the game.